Moving to a new city and starting a new job can be an exhilarating yet challenging experience. But, it can bring a unique set of challenges, especially when you are living alone. Ending college where you knew the entire city and having friends just a short walk away creates for a drastically different environment once you start working. Living alone in an unfamiliar city without any friends nearby may seem daunting, but it is also a time of tremendous growth, independence, and self-discovery. Embracing this journey is an essential step towards finding your place in the world. In this blog post, I will share what I have learned so far and explore some ways to make the most of this life-changing adventure of moving to a new city.
Embrace the Uncomfortable
The prospect of living alone in a new city and starting a job without familiar faces around can be intimidating. It will be intimidating. It comes with a lot of unknowns and uncomfortable situations. But, it can also be a great time to learn more about yourself and grow. Obviously, be safe, but embrace the discomfort because it can lead to great experiences and friendships while moving to a new city.
Take the time to learn what you like and don’t like as well as how you make life choices and other decisions. This is a great time to reflect inwardly and work on the situations that bring you stress and anxiety. For me, as an introvert, I find it difficult to start new friendships sometimes. But putting myself out there and being the first to start a conversation has led to some great relationships. Take a walk, get a little lost in your new city, and just explore and engage in what the place has to offer.
Utilize Friendship Apps
In today’s digital age, making new friends has become more accessible through apps like Bumble. I honestly cannot imagine how the older generation used to do it because these apps make it so much easier.
Because so many of us are in different stages of our lives in our 20s, I think friendship apps are a great way to meet people. They allow you to connect with like-minded people in your area, whether you want a corporate best friend or a travel partner. Finding people through the apps helped me make meaningful connections that helped me grow my support network in a new city.
Be proactive in reaching out to potential friends and attending events or meetups. Some friendships will take a little more effort than others, but being persistent and open-minded is key to finding a diverse set of friends. Don’t be discouraged if your first few attempts don’t lead to long-lasting friendships; keep putting yourself out there, and you will eventually find your people.
Explore and Eat Out By Yourself
Eating out alone and exploring the city solo might initially feel uncomfortable, but it is a liberating experience. It pushes you out of your comfort zone and encourages you to love yourself and the environment around you. When you dine alone, you have the opportunity to be by yourself, without distractions. Try to keep off your phone and enjoy the experience. I like to bring a book and sit outside if I can, but the idea is to learn to just be content with what you are doing. It is to learn that you can still try new restaurants and have a great time, even without someone going with you.
Similarly, exploring places on your own gives you the freedom to set your own pace, discover hidden gems, and immerse yourself fully in the city’s culture and beauty. I love taking different routes to coffee shops and really trying to explore streets I haven’t walked on yet. I have found so many hidden gem businesses by simply walking on a parallel street to my grocery store. It may take a few extra minutes, but it will be worth it.
Take the Time to Discover Yourself
Living alone in a new city provides an excellent opportunity for self-discovery. Use this time to understand yourself better, and reflect on your values, interests, and aspirations. Journaling and self-reflection can help uncover your passions and define your life’s purpose.
It’s odd because you will realize you have more time than you used to. Without as many friend obligations and social events, you can take the time to start that hobby you have been wanting to. It is what led me to want to start a blog and take courses in subjects that interest me. Engage in activities that intrigue you, attend workshops, and try out new hobbies. This process of self-discovery is ongoing, and as you learn more about yourself, you will gain the confidence to make decisions that align with your authentic self.
I also think this is important because the more authentic and genuine you are to yourself, the more true you will be to others. The work we put in internally reflects outwardly and you’ll see it in the friendships you start to form.
{Related Post: Finding Your First Place as a Young Professional: 14 First Apartment Tips}
Enjoy Your Freedom and Flexibility
Living alone and without any commitments to friends or family nearby means you have the freedom and flexibility to do what you want, whenever you want. Embrace this freedom and use it to pursue your hobbies, travel, or engage in activities you love. This is similar to what’s above, but the difference is using your time on things that truly bring you happiness.
If you work remotely, take the flexibility to travel. You live alone, so take the freedom and experiment with your space. Try out new recipes, blast some music, and do what brings you joy. In this time, you have no one else relying on you or judging your actions. So embrace the solitude and use this time and energy intentionally, focusing on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. This phase of life is an opportunity to prioritize yourself and create a life that reflects your values and passions.
Set Goals and Pursue Dreams
Make the most of this new chapter by setting clear goals and ambitions. Don’t let this time go to waste. Whether it’s advancing in your career, learning a new skill, or taking up a creative pursuit, having objectives gives you direction and purpose.
Create a vision board about where you want your life to be ten years from now or keep a journal to document your aspirations and goals. If there’s a side hustle you have been wanting to try, now is the time to do it. Celebrate your accomplishments along the way, and don’t be discouraged by setbacks. This journey is about progress, not perfection so take action on those ideas as you are moving to a new city.
Overcoming Emotional Ups and Downs
Living alone and moving to a new city can lead to emotional ups and downs. Some days you may feel lonely or homesick, but remember it is okay to feel like that sometimes. Call friends and family during this time to remind you of the support you have. Think about what is making you feel sad or lonely. If you can, plan a family visit.
Also, try to think about the positive aspects of your journey. Cultivate self-compassion and be kind to yourself during these challenging times. Not every day will feel productive and on those days, order in and watch some Netflix. On other days, you will feel like getting a hundred tasks done, and that is amazing. Surround yourself with supportive friends, whether in person or through virtual connections, a positive outlook, and an emotionally intelligent mindset, and you will set up yourself for success during this time.
Transform Your Living Space
Transform your living space into a sanctuary that reflects your personality and style. Decorate it with items that bring you joy, create a cozy reading nook, or set up a workspace that inspires productivity.
Whether you work from home or commute, your place needs to feel like home, because it is home now. Taking the time to make your space your own is really important to your overall mental health. If it is a space you like and appreciate, it will become a space where you feel like you can destress and let go. So personalize it to your taste, and experiment with a little interior design.
This is a great place to start when you are trying to enjoy the little things and are trying to embrace the journey. Go to flea markets, Facebook marketplace, or other sites and just enjoy the whole process of slowly making the space your own when you are moving to a new city.
{Related Post: Your First Home: How to Create an Intentional Living Space}
Engage with the Local Community
Immerse yourself in the local community by participating in events, volunteering, or joining clubs and organizations that interest you. Just like you did on campus, it is important to help out your area in whatever way you can. Engaging with others who share your passions can lead to meaningful connections and a sense of belonging as you are moving to a new city.
As a South Asian woman, I love getting dressed up in traditional clothes and sharing my cultural background with others. Embrace opportunities for cultural exchange, educate others about your traditions, and be open to learning from the diversity of the city you now call home.
Enjoy the Journey
I alluded to this earlier, but living alone in a new city allows you to celebrate your independence and self-reliance. Don’t think about when it is going to end or how you do not like it. Instead, use this time to nurture your strengths, face your weaknesses, and develop resilience. Enjoy the ups and downs that come with building Ikea furniture and celebrate when you build that desk by yourself.
Celebrate the small achievements, enjoy the process of finding an antique coffee table, and just romanticize your life and the decisions you are making. Enjoy the process of making your morning coffee. Have fun on your grocery run and try a new fruit. Take pride in the fact that you are carving your path and making important life decisions on your own terms.
Conclusion
Living alone in a new city and starting a job without friends nearby can be both challenging and rewarding. Embrace the discomfort and uncertainty, as they are catalysts for personal growth and self-discovery. Utilize apps like Bumble to connect with new friends and engage with the local community to build a support network. Allow yourself to explore the city solo and set clear goals and ambitions for this new chapter of your life. Embrace this time to truly get to know yourself, your values, and your aspirations.
Your journey may have emotional ups and downs, but through it all, you’ll emerge stronger, more independent, and with a deeper understanding of who you are. So keep a positive mindset and enjoy this journey as you start this new chapter of your life of moving to a new city.
With love,
Aditi <3
Aditi Rani – Figuring Out Life in Your Twenties
*Disclaimer: This is not professional advice. Some links are affiliate. By clicking and/or purchasing, I may receive a commission. It does not alter the price or change your buyer experience.